Knowing how to tell your parents you're moving out isn't always easy. You may need to let them down lightly so that they take the news well.
Tips for How to Tell Your Parents You're Moving Out
This is one of those things that you might not want to wing and blurt out at the dinner table. Moving out of your family home is a big deal, and you will want your parents' support in this. Before breaking the news to them, consider these ten sensible tips on how to best tell your parents you're moving out.
Consider All Possible Reactions and Outcomes
When you can legally move out, the reaction that you get when telling your parents might be vastly different from what you had anticipated. They might be angry, emotional, frightened, or even confused by your move. Before telling them that you plan to move out, consider all the possible reactions that they may have and brainstorm how you might navigate each possibility.
Have a Solid Plan in Place
One of the first questions that your parents are going to ask you is, "Well, what's your plan?" What they mean is, how will you support yourself. Parents want details. They will want to know where and when this move will take place. They will also likely ask about your finances and how you plan to afford rent, groceries, bills, gas, and any other expenses.
Before telling them that you are flying the coop, create a monthly bill organizer that you will incur along with your monthly income. Knowing that you have this part of independence figured out might give them peace of mind.
Time It Right
With so much in life, timing really is everything. Sharing major news, such as moving out, needs to be timed correctly. Don't decide to spring the news on your parents during a moment of stress, in public, or in a group of others. Plan a special dinner in, ask them to take a walk with you, or choose another convenient time to discuss the matter at hand. Decide if it is best to tell them together, or tell them separately.
Consider the Place of Discussion
No matter when or how you tell your parents that you are heading out on your own, you'll want to consider the location of where you tell them. A busy public forum is not the greatest idea, especially if you think that their emotions could get the best of them. A large event such as a wedding or funeral is also not a great choice in location. Think of what might work best for your parents. Where will they feel most comfortable expressing their feelings and discussing the plans?
Have Support in Place
You may want to tell them that you are leaving their home in an intimate way, just including you and them. You might also want a support system in place when you break the news. If you are close with your siblings and think that they will add to your cause, utilize them. If you are going to move in with a roommate or a significant other, having them be a part of the conversation could also be helpful.
Start With a Thank You
A thank you goes a long way with a parent. Parents live their lives giving kids everything and asking for nothing in return except a bit of gratitude. Make sure to sincerely thank them for all that they have done for you over the years before diving into your carefully thought out moving plans.
Include Them in the Process
Telling parents that you are leaving can make them feel less important in your life, so be sure to include them in the moving process. They can help you get your new place ready by cleaning, painting, shopping, and decorating. Ask them to spend time with you as you pack up and label your belongings. Request their company in transporting your personal items to your new space. Make sure that they don't feel used, but included. Ask their opinions and thought as to how to go about things.
Give Them Plenty of Time for Questions
Sharing your moving plans will cause questions in their minds, even if think that you have mulled over every last detail. Be patient with their questions and answer them as best you can. If you don't have an answer to a particular question, write it down. Tell them that you will think about it and get back to them. Show them that you are mature and responsible enough to seek out answers for areas that you may not have thought about yet.
Create Standing Dates With Them
Your parents are going to miss you when you leave. They will even start to miss the dirty laundry and the crusty dishes that you have gifted them with for all of these years. Part of their apprehension might come from their own worries about how often they will now see you. Don't simply tell them that you'll visit. Try creating a standing date with them. If you'll still be local, choose one evening in the week where you will visit them for dinner or watch your favorite show together.
If you are moving far away, try to hold yourself to a weekly day and time where you can do a video chat or a phone call with them.
Allow Them to Have Their Own Feelings
Like you, your parents are entitled to their own feelings in regard to their child moving out on their own. Allow them to have these feelings and process them in their own time. If they don't latch onto the idea immediately, give them the space to work through the news. Your family ultimately wants what is best for you. With love, understanding, solid communication, and good planning, a move out of mom and dad's home is likely imminent.
You Told Them, What Now?
After you make your plans and break the news to mom and dad, the next thing you will want to do is get organized. This handy moving checklist can be very helpful in assuring that you don't forget anything important.