Putting Your Spouse First: Blended Family Marriages

Michele Meleen
Couple kissing outdoors

Prioritizing family members can be tricky business, especially in a blended family. Keep in mind putting your spouse first doesn't mean you love him or her more than your own children.

7 Ways To Put Your Spouse First

Statistics show that blended families don't often have great success rates. In busy families, it's often the little things that make the biggest impact. Take small steps each day to show your spouse how important he or she is in the bigger picture.

Support the Other Person's Decisions

Disagreeing about things that affect the entire family in front of the children is a surefire way to show your spouse there's room for disrespect and manipulation. Be proactive in setting ground rules and making decisions on how discipline or other important matters will be handled at home. Then you can support your spouse's decisions in front of the kids to show respect for your partner. If you take issue with something your spouse has said or done, discuss it in private, then talk with the kids about it if necessary.

Take Mini Marriage Time Outs

Man sending love text to spouse

Make moments throughout the day where you send your spouse the message that she's on your mind and she matters. Just like you would put a note in your kid's lunch box, take a moment after lunch to send your spouse a text. Look for opportunities to have a few moments together even in the midst of your busy day. These mini moments can be as simple as a ritual long hug after dinner or locking the bathroom door in the morning so you can enjoy a shower together.

Offer Verbal Praise

Just as you let your kids know they're doing awesome, tell your spouse that he is too. Give specific praise in front of the whole family to boost your husband's confidence and help the kids see his best attributes.

Trust Your Partner's Intentions

You married this woman because she is a kind, loving soul. In times of family turmoil or crisis, keep in mind that your partner's intentions are good, even if her delivery is not. When you express your concerns, use language that says you didn't like an action rather than something that puts her personality or values down.

Consider Your Spouse's Schedule

When planning activities for the kids, it's easy to focus on their visitation schedule, school schedule, and your work schedule. Don't forget to consult your spouse's calendar as a regular part of the planning process. Look for ways to avoid inconveniencing him even if it means the kids don't get exactly what they want.

Ask Your Spouse First

Whether talking about everyone's day around the dinner table or deciding where to go for dinner, ask your spouse for an answer first. Address her directly then give the kids a chance to share their opinion.

Show Your Spouse Off on Social Media

Whenever your kids do something cute or awesome, you're likely to post a picture on your favorite social media platform. Give your spouse the same global recognition with five minutes of fame here and there on your feed.

Why Spouses Deserve Top Priority

A strong and healthy marriage is the foundation of any family, especially a blended family. Your love for each other is what made the family in the first place and it's what will make it successful.

Happy Spouses Make Happy Parents

Consider the old saying that you put your oxygen mask on before your child's if the airplane is about to crash. The same can be said for life in general. If you aren't taking care of your own physical, mental, and emotional needs, you can't present your best self to your kids. Great parenting or co-parenting starts with your own happiness.

Modeling Strong Relationships

Children learn how to have relationships by watching the surrounding adults. Even though your first marriage didn't work out, you can still show your kids resilience and great relationship skills now.

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Trying to work, keep up a household, and care for your kids alone can be a daunting task that always feels out of balance. When you have a strong partnership to lean on, it can lighten your workload and create more time for fun and family bonding.

Make Marriage a Top Priority

Putting your spouse first means considering his or her needs before making decisions that affect the entire household. While it may be difficult for everyone to grasp at first, making marriage the top priority in your life has nothing to do with levels of love.

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Putting Your Spouse First: Blended Family Marriages